I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Still dying that you shit outside
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
