Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
