The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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