It's Friday. Sex?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
