i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
