It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
