Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
