Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
