I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
