First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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