I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
