im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
