Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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