we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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