i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
