Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
