He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize