2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
