Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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