Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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