He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
