tell your sister to shave her snatch
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
