she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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