dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Randomize
