you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
why do cheetos always look like penises
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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