and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
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Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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