Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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