I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
