Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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