Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
nutella sex= disaster
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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