Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
