yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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