hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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