shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
