turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
