he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
