Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
