What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
