arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
