And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
