he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
