woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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