You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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