just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
