Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman