Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
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You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
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she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.