I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I need help removing her.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.