so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
