I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
