coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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