you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
