If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize