I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
