Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm like, not good at living.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
