Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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