dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
