we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
