Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
