Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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