I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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