everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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