First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize