Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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