somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
