I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
