turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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