Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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