I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
