I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I forgot how hot balto sounded
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
