You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
